found images of you moving on a scuffed vhs tape. i heard your voice sing sweetly something i never thought i’d hear again. the coffee buzzes my brainwaves and allows me to think clearly.
spotify playlist where i saved the serenades you wrote for me. every melody from the songs we *♡’ed from that concert we drove to Baltimore to see. we spent the night together in that fancy suite. we ate the world’s worst pizza and smoked the world’s finest weed.
i noticed how the girl in your songs had red hair before she had mine. how you thought your favorite color was green before you realized how dangerous were my eyes. i think you’re a liar. because you texted me last Thursday just to say.you didn’t wanna *♡ me anymore. °
. Vv. ○
i don’t think it’s too funny how every time i try to write about you, all my poems ends the same way. you’re a cycle of never ending torment. an apocalypse where my ♡ seeks rest and the grief lasts for eternity. i would believe the gift of having you once, and the feeling of losing you, akin to losing everything is the punishment i get for believing god exists somewhere inside of me. in a place within my psyche i long for it to not be.° .. . .:
. . * ,
i’d stop writing about your café au lait eyes all together if the fondness of our encounters didn’t purr like the white noise of needles scratching vinyl records. i’d stop dreaming of you in color if you didn’t look just like a sunset. i would rue the day i crossed your path and askew the day you. crossed me. although you were the one to do me wrong, i am burdened with your memories. as you live a life that seems like paradise without me.. .
are you lonely? is this why every now and then you call me? do you long for my warmth the same way i long for your, ‘i’m sorry’. if you could go back to last ○ would you take back all the horrible ways you hurt me? would you have come to my house at all? begged for a last *♡ and the back of my throat? would you have fought for me? would you have let him have me so easily if you knew then what is reality this instant?
Every trinket which had existed while you were still alive has become a holy thing. A relic of a time when angels walked the planet and smoke ring haloes were only broken by your endless laughter. I almost forgot about the cigarette burns creating holes in every blanket and every robe. I almost forgot about the smell of thousand year smoke. There are devils that followed you like shadows and behind your happiness was deep pain. I lament I could not take it away. Sometimes behind my back those devils you would chase. In your wake, I find joy in seeing them choke. Your soul is free, and there is no room for their selfishness to take what is left of you in me. I want to dedicate my life to being stronger. You will live on. –six pm | *holy things
I believe in Nothing, after This is all over, before Everything began,
So if This is Something, even just a little bit… it matters who I spend my time with.
You’re so in love it sets your eyes on fire. See, I need to feel that too. I’m simply not falling in love with you.
So take back your gifts of golden bracelets. I don’t feel comfortable giving them away. Though soft and made of finer things…
They are chains all the same.
Paige Six | 2021
*a draft I’ve been aspiring to finish since I’ve sought to build off of the final stanza since 2017. It’s still sitting on my chest. One of the mornings I’m going to rise and sing the right companion verses. Until then, we have this.
Here’s a painting of a beautiful sativa strain that I’ve been working on this week! I’ve been doing a lot of painting/experimenting this Spring, and it feels wonderful to finally have something to post that I’m proud of. This piece is entirely acrylic on white canvas. Delightfully inspired by Azuma Makoto’s “Exobiotanica” flower art.
Truthfully, I think it’s one of the most beautiful paintings I’ve ever created.
⁖ Wish you could love me As you loved the sunsets In California. I never trust in anyone But for some reason I trust you. And if you fly to the other side Know, one day, I’ll follow you.
I wish you cared enough about me To watch the sun rise in the East We’re New Yorkers, it’s in our blood Staying out and running the streets before the dawn. I’m always on the run And you should be too. There’s a place out there for us to grab I am waiting for you To lace up your shoes
But you, you’ll sleep all fucking day. I don’t care, I can wait Trust, I have the patience of a saint. I’ll always love you, somehow anyway -six pm